The struggles, upheavals, changes and drama during the last four weeks have been trying and emotionally draining. This practicum has also been the best learning experience I could have about the realities of teaching and what the first week of school will feel like. After my AT moved to HSP his job was split in two. One half was given to a half-time teacher to make him full time, and the other half wasn't filled until after I left. Thus my last two weeks were my opportunity to help the students transition. I was the classroom teacher, especially for the classes where we had a new supply every day/period. I think that I helped provide continuity and stability for my students who were on the verge of distraught during my last week with the stress of saying goodbye and not knowing who would be teaching them next. Although I'm tired and happy to get some sleep again, I do miss them and its hard to let go.
My biggest challenge as a teacher going forward is to keep working on controlling instead of adapting to situations. I am very reactive to situations and I sometimes lose myself in what is happening. The trouble with having an introverted personality is that I observe and absorb before reacting and responding. Teaching requires me to take a step forward and react instantly, but more so I need to control instead of being controlled by my situation. I made great improvements last practicum in terms of separating Ms. Williams from Meghan. My challenge going forward is to be even more of an authority figure, to be less affected by what's happening in school and even more in charge of my classroom. Being "on" all the time goes counter to my innate personality and my needs as person. My challenge now is to balance what I need to do as a teacher and how I naturally react to situations.
I responded to Vera, Melissa, Sai and Vera.
Dearest Meghan, I can't believe you went through everything you did and got through it. Losing an AT half way through and being the "actual" teacher while you're still a TC is quite the challenge. You are truly amazing.
ReplyDeleteEffie you are very sweet. This was truly sink or swim but I am very very grateful for my wonderful fellow TCs at Glenview. Your support was invaluable.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that teaching is about how you react to things - sometimes stepping back and thinking is a good thing - sometimes its not.
ReplyDeleteAs you develop to be the teacher you want to be you will know when to step back or forward and know how to spot the difference.
Serge
Meghan,
ReplyDeleteBeing at the same school I can completely empathize with some of the struggles you had! I like to control things too, and I would take it very personally when the students had a day where they couldn't sit still or when I had to chase them all over for lessons. You handled your ATs move to HSP with grace and showed a lot of "courage" nudge nudge :) I'm so glad that Mr. BSp gave you the support you needed! Great working with you on the pathway!
Rachael
Meghan, knowing you as a classmate and a friend, I am sure you helped those students with more than continuity and stability during those last week and throughout your practicum.
ReplyDeleteIts amazing how influential a person can be when you realize they have a genuine interest in your well being because thats just the type of person they are. Moving forward, I hope you bring both the strength of an experience Ms. Williams and the enthusiasm/wholehearted of Meghan. I hope you gain the balance you need as I believe you have so much to offer as a teacher.
All the best